Quarantine…

So here we are, once again… It’s been a while. But there’s no time like quarantine to start writing again. I’ve fully exhausted all other options: I showered, ate all the snacks, caught up with all my Netflix shows, downloaded TikTok and even interacted with the rest of the people in my house. I literally have no excuse not to write. Except, I just haven’t wanted to…

Inspiration is a funny thing; it comes and it really does go. For some writers (like the ones who get paid for it) they can almost force inspiration. I am not one of those writers, nor have I ever been one. I fully embody the principle that an object, not in motion, will only move if acted upon by an outside force; that force used to be college deadlines or article quotas, but both have since been removed from my life.

So without force, and without inspiration, how does one write? Well, the simple answer is, you don’t. Which clearly, I have lived by this for many months now.

Then, the whole world went to shit. The country essentially shut down. And now everyone is afraid of a virus that has the same name as a cheap (gross) beer.

How could I not find inspiration now??

I mean, to be completely honest, it’s not like I had some magic moment where finally it hit me, that I’m a writer and I must write or I’ll die. No, it mostly went like, the thought of writing felt like death and eventually I got bored enough to throw some words on a screen.

I have missed it, though; the feeling of having something you feel is so important to say, you have to share it with the world (well the 5 people who read this blog). Or when your heart is so full, the poetry actually just tumbles out of you, because life just feels like one, long, beautiful sonnet.

That just hasn’t been my reality. Real life hit, and it hit hard. So much of the world just seemed to melt together in one, grey blob. There has been very little in my life that has made my heart sing, or my feelings overflow and spill out onto my keyboard. The technicolor was missing.

I won’t bore you with the details, but I will say that the last year of my life was definitely one of the longest…

So, I stopped writing. For many reasons, but paramount of all was probably because I just didn’t feel like I had anything useful to say. People used to love the way I wrote about sadness, and darkness, how I could interweave a tapestry of the beauty and ugliness of life. That I could make sense of how they were feeling, even if it was just on a computer screen. The truth is, I haven’t even been able to do that for myself.

How can I make sense of life for others, when I don’t even understand it myself?

But now, here we are again. I think I have something kind of interesting to say, so I type it out and submit it to the masses, hoping that maybe at least one lost soul will resonate with me. Maybe they will, maybe you won’t.

As stated above, I’ve exhausted all my other options. So here we are, right back to square one of giving this writing thing a try. Hopefully, this all made sense or hopefully it just made enough sense that you kept reading to this point.

So yeah, I mean that’s it really. Oh, yeah, STAY INSIDE.

xoxo,

Ali

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